Change is the only constant in life. That doesn’t mean that it’s easy to embrace it or cope with it. Leaving your partner, going back to school, or moving abroad can all feel terrifying, and rightly so.
Here are 6 things to keep in mind when making a big life change so that you know how to do it.
Think Things Through, But Don’t Overthink
If you’re dissatisfied with your life and thinking about making a big life change, it’s useful to pinpoint what you want to achieve by starting afresh. Setting specific goals makes change less overwhelming and helps avoid that horrible feeling that your target is so far away that you might as well just give up. However, while the ability to analyze things clearly is a powerful ally in turning dreams into reality, over-analyzing everything to death is not. When it comes to a big life change, at some point you need to move from thinking into action – and dragging your feet will cause pointless pain.
Phasing Out of Denial
Most over-analyzers are replicating an unhealthy coping mechanism created during childhood when they felt like they just couldn’t fail in order to live up to their parents’ expectations. Not allowing yourself to make mistakes then usually turns into denial about everything that’s off in your life.
When you’re finally approaching a big life change, phasing out of denial can be hard. Even if you do realize that you have the ability to recognize and fix what’s wrong, anger, regret, remorse, and even sadness about your past can come up. Allow yourself to feel those emotions so that they won’t hold you hostage.
It’s Okay to Look Back…
When moving to the next chapter, it makes sense to take stock of what happened in your journey prior, and how that led you to where you are now. Whether you’re proud or regretful, looking back at your choices provides you with a lot of important wisdom for moving forward.
… But Don’t Indulge In Nostalgia
But looking back can be a double-edged sword. Sometimes, after changing, we make up a faulty narrative about how things were better before. It’s useful to remind your future self of all the reasons your past life really wasn’t a better one. Take note of them when making your big life change. And remember that you can only lead the life you want if you are willing to take some risks.
Accept The Doubt
Self-doubt is a necessary component of any major life change. Accepting and acknowledging it is an important part of our emotional growth. This is particularly relevant when life changes may feel like failures: for example, going through a divorce or going back to school after a downturn in your career path. Try to keep things in perspective. We fall 100 times before we learn to walk.
Focus On Future Happiness
Here at Meditation Relax Club, we firmly believe in the importance of radically living for the now. However, big changes are not without pain. And sometimes, when things get tough, it’s okay to focus on longer-term happiness. In these cases, thinking about the future can motivate us to take the steps necessary to reach our goals.
Above all, be optimistic. You are much stronger than you think. You know what it feels like to feel discontented. Soon, you’ll get to experience how good it feels to finally be on the other side.